Job:
Love my JOB! I recently transferred to the "K" clinic and though I can say I miss my FoFW peeps, I can say it's a nice change. All I will say is the work enviroment is much more laid back rather than tense and uneasy. So I am greatful not only for the new clinic but for an 16 mile roundtrip to work rather than the 23 mile one way trip!
Today, interesting cases...
Had a guy come in with a nail completely through his index finger. All the way through finger sticking out both sides! It was cool! No blood or anything, just a finger with a nail! We sent him to the ER, was sad I didn't get to see it removed, but was still neat-o!
Personal life:
I have this most amazing guy!
And this guy thinks...
I am the most amazing girl? Or Rockstar as he calls me!
But in my life to say I have been fooled once would be an understatement.
I hate that I have been through so many trials, and have gained a perspective of men must be shady, or there is no ever after?.?.
After several several failed relationships and a marriage. Well my idea of happy endings seems un-realistic in this world where marriage it's self is questioned. I believe people love each other and believe in forever, but I also know people give up or move on. People disregard their vows, their commitment and decide that things are greener on the other side.
-That makes me think of the line in Why did I get Married? Where they talk about the 70/30 or was it 80/20 rule? That you leave the 70% woman for the 30% woman you thought you wanted. When then you realize you rather 70% instead of just 30%.
Anyways I got off subject. Back on topic...
What I am sayin is... I love Ryan with all my heart and I know without a doubt I would never find a man that would love or adore me the way that he does. And most importantly that loves and cares for my son as much as he does! He is always willing to help with him, or help with house stuff so I can do something one on one with Daniel. It is inspiring his love and care for both of us. I know I am the luckiest girl to have found such an amazing man. But, I fear in the reality part of my head of being hurt again one day. I could not imagine trying to re-stablizing myself again if something were to happen after he and I were married. I have gained incredible strength and will power over the last several years, but it doesn't mean a boy can't break my heart.
But I know this guy won't, and I know and can feel it every time he kisses me. Or the way he plays with my son. I know it every time he wants to help, or is willing to do anything for our family.
Daniel:
Out of this world amazing and active. Through his snotty nose, and occasional throw ups he has lit up my life. When I reflect on this past 17 months I wonder how did I get through and make it here. Then I wonder how did he put up with me? WE defintely both have our stubbornness. His I want what I want now, and my no you can't have my computer! Or pull out the cable box or elec cords!
Don't you have a corner full of toys! I guess we never grow up, we want what the older kids have!
How all this ties into LDS?
I get down on my knees every morning before work and thank the Lord for my learned skills, but ask him to help me be able to effectively treat and assist all of his children. Than I may take care of them as he would have me to do. I believe my life calling.
Ryan and I both being active Latter Day Saints are following the church and our will to our Heavenly Father we are holding out which not only throws our relationship into overdrive with all the talking rather than intimacy. But it has helped us to grow and know each other on a deeper level much faster. We get down every night together and have a prayer together and we read scriptures aloud together nightly. It has strengthened our relationship along with my testimony for him.
Daniel, well there are many nights or days for that matter when I don't know what he wants or needs, that I pray for direction for him and the neatest thing is.... Every time I pray aloud infront of him he gets very quiet. It may take a minute but he does, he just gets very silent. When I open eyes and look up he is just intently watching me. It's a great moment for both of us.
